Sunday, March 26, 2006

New Place, Old friend

From Cape Town my next stop was Sydney. Staright away I was amazed by the superb transport facilities in comparison to my time in Africa. In a way it was too good and made me feel homesick from the crazy minibus drivers in South Africa who allowed the stupid traffic lights. Anyways straight away I met Arun and we went out to the Beach palace hotel, where we lived it up on the dancefloor. At first I couldnt recognise him because hes put on alot of weight. At first I thought he was gajan! Wemet lots of english girls which was a let down to be honest!

The next day it was Azs birthday so we went out the whole day and went to a rugby pub, 3 clubs and a casino with some AFL footballers was very cool. It was like the Holland cricket tour last year but far crazier in every way. Then the next day we visited the city centre which was very coo as we saw the amazing view of the bridge and the opera house, after a ferry ride under the bridge and another rocky pose phot from me we went to Bondi Beach where the waves are huge and the surfers talk like they are extremely stupid. Maybe they are stupid but the way they talk dosent help either way!

Sydney is a cool city with nice beaches but it seems too modern and alot like England. Im having great time here but a week is enough, on I go to Melbourne the sports capital of Australia. As for Arun hes off to lymposuction clinic in England as soon as possible.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Lion King

Today on my last day in South Africa I visited a safari 2 hours away from Cape Town. My favourite movie used to be the Lion King, so I was ready to see Simba in full flow.
On the game drive we saw some really cool animals, Hippos, Rhinos, Girafes, Zebras, Cheetahs and the King Lions.

One of the first animals we saw was the Hippo. Apparently they cause the most human deaths evry year because they feel threatened if humans get in the way of the water. They snap you in two and then go back to lounging around in the water. To be honest they seemed very lazy and quite overweight, but you never know!

Another cool animal was the Rhinio which weighs alot and can run very fast, with huge horns. You wonder why the circus guys take the risk with those cloth things. I cant imagine such a huge animal running so fast, but thenm again I have seen Gaj nad Kamran in pursuit of a kebab shop.

The zebras were pretty to look at but didnt seem to do much. When one passenger asked the ranger if they could ride the zebra they were told that it would snap the zebras back. They have nothing on Camels! The traditional South African springbok were lively and apparently they give birth by dropping their children on the floor, within 2 mins they can walk! They are overpopulating the reserve and might have to be placed in Lion territory soon.

Then finally we visited Lion territory. We saw three Lions as they swayed through the grass and had a presence that mde you jump. Apparently last week they had attacked a small boy and the ranger, a small african women, had charged the Lion back, and the Lion had retreated. To be honest I back Simba, it must have been the womens teeth that scared him off.

When leaving we saw the reserves pet Cheetah and I went into a cgae and peeted him like a true tourist. That bit was a bit stupid and madse it feel like a zoo. But apparentl;y the Cheethas run too fast and kill too many animals to be realised. They are the fastest land based animalin the world but they sleep 20 hours a day! lazy!

So off I go leaving Cape Town behind and the 6 best weeks of my life, on to Sydney,as I trade the Lions in for meeting Arun! He better be interesting!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Im a celebrity get me out of here!

Yesterday night I went to Caprice, a bar for the rich and famous overlooking the stunning Camps Bay Beach. In the que to get in I met Jake from Eastenders, who was on holiday for one week. It was his last week so he kept asking us to find out who was English so he could play the celebrity card! Caprice is packed with so many gorgeous women and good music, that it attracted alot of Australian and South African cricket players.

Andrew Symonds was living it up with lots of SA girls and had a following around him. Gilchrist, Hussey, Damien Martyn were also there as well as Soputh frican captain Graeme Smith. Everyone is much more chilled out in Cape Town than London so everyone just got on with the party. We chatted to all of the team and the two dutch girls I was with told the Aussis where to get off! When I was chatting t Damien Martyn he asked the dutch girl Marline if she wanted a photo she told him that she didnt take photos with people who dont play proper sports! She then asked Hussey who he was because some people were getting photos he said he was the doctor from Days of our lives, she believed him. Hussey told me to get dred locks like Andrew Symonds, watch this space!!!

The whole place reached total party time when Leonardo De Caprio, the Titantic guy walked in. He walked into the VIP section. So off we went with some girls we met. They told the bouncer I was an NBA star and he didnt question it! De Caprio was surrounded by gold diggers, but i still ooked way more famous than him! Graeme Smith was at first rejected from the VIP section because quote 'you got no runs!' But eventually he got up there and he seemed a nice guy. Alot more relaxed than he seemed the other day at the Test Match.

So basically as you can see Im where I belong with the rich and famous! Having the best time of my life here in Cape Town really dont want to go but leaving for Australia on Friday, at least Ive got some contacts now though!!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Don't scratch your nose!!!!

Today I was treeted to the members stand of the Test
Match at Newlands, between Australia and SouthAfrica because my squash and cricket team owns the stand. Its a pretty cool place with the players right next to you and walking through the stand to the field. However I felt out of place when I bobbed in with sandals and shorts. All the old people had their shirts and tieson, with their tea and biscuits on hand, while the English guy wore sandals! Africa?

Anyways all the cricket sides at my club watched the game together and there was alot of jokes. Firstly Brett Lee got a huge amount of abuse, and the drunk crowd sitting on the grass kept shouting 'dont scratch ur nose Brett'. Brett Lee came back by gesturing that one of the guys shouting the abuse was fat. Someone from our section shouted to Brett Lee, 'Dont mess wiv the Cape Colours, they have guns!' After that Lee didnt bother gesturing!

By the end of the day the drunk crowd had began getting agggressive as South Africa were bowled out for 200 odd, so they started swearing at each other in Africans. The Australians also got drunk and one guy asked all the players to sign his hat and after the end of play threw the hat at Ponting's head. The security guard then told Ponting not to mess with the drunk Aussi! Things are done differently here!

Im sitting with the rich and famous where I belong, so u might see me on TV. Lots of South african models were there today, and Sculk Berger as well as alot of ex Springbok sports peoples. Im gonna be at most of the days at some point trying to find myself a celebrity girlfriend by claiming Im a bollywood dancer. You can only try!

Luvin it here havin amazing time.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Mandeeeellllaaa! Bleached Penjuins!!!!!!!!!!

Today I went to visit the cell where Nelson Mandela was held in Roben Island for 11 years. When Chris Tucker is falling to the ground in Rush Hour he shouts Mandelas name in a yelp, so thats where the stupid title comes from! During the Apartheid years political prisoners were shipped of to Roben Island 11 kms away from Cape Town, and were kept in tiny cells and made to do meaningless manual labour. The people who showed us round had been held in prison and freakily still live in the island. Its a ghost town with only 150 inhabitants, very scary.

Its good to see that the people had a sense of humour after all the terrible years they spent here, and they were happy to lock people up and walk away with the key. There was also a cool sign with my name in it, saying serve with pride, I swear I've been saying that to the women for a while.

In other news I saw some amazingly cool penguins who had cool blond hair. They looked like they had come from the back streets of Cape Town and I wouldnt mess with them. Apparently their hair was natural but the whole thing screams bleach!

My good start with the runs was halted by a seriously fast bowler on saturday. It was one of those situations where I looked good but the my shots were played when the ball was in the keepers hands. Someone said he bowled at 80mph, god knows what 90mph feels like. Our team lost but Ive won all my squash team games so far.

After the all day and night party when SA beat the Aussies on Sunday, It'll be more of a party this week in the Test match which im going to tomo. Im also planning to go on a safari when I recover from the nightmares about Jaws!

Friday, March 10, 2006


Today I put my life on the line and put myself up against some great white sharks, in some shark diving. There was 8 of us and when we got to the harbour we were bemused to find that our ship was very far from shore and we had to travel through shark territory on an inflatable bpoat to get there! OH shit!

The boat driver tried to deal with the problem by travelling at the speed of light but sharks were still sightede on this camakazi mission. when we got to the boat we were accompanied by a hugesouth african called Vian who ensured us that if it came to it he would take the sharks on, I backed the great whites!

They lowered 4 of us at a time in a stell cage which didnt fill me with confidence and 8 sharks in total were attracted to this cage by bate. The guy on the boat was supposed to not actaully let the sharks eat the bate but the great sharks got what they wanted. I saw then tear fish to pieces cms in front of my face, very cool. An eagle who tried to eat the bate was also nearly a victim as the shark made an assault on him. If the shark could fly tho, it may have been different.

For the last effort of the day the ranger dropped all his fish in the sea the shark got there in a hurray nad as the ranger tried to pull the shark upwards its fin bitchslapped the person next to me in the cage, the person didnt slap back! This time last year my life was a bit differerent me thinks, over and out, Neil